Monday, April 30, 2007

I'm done with my paper!!

It's done and I'll be doing my presentation of the results in a few moments and my fi nal is next Monday so plenty of time to study. I'm doing the happy dance right now in a big way.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Some photos from last weekend

Another thing that needs to get added to my to do list as a regular item is getting pictures off my camera and do some thing with them. Here are some pics from last weekend. Sorry that you can't see just how cute Mr. Supercute really is but he's to fast for me.
Start 'em youngDylan (AKA Daddy) working on fencing drills with Mr. Supercute. Nothing like starting them young.

Like father like son All I can say is like father like son.
Mr. Supercute Heavy Weapons? Maybe Daddy should put up a pell as well as a point work ball for him in the back yarn.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Not much to tell

Today was suppose to be a play date with myself but the pain in my back hasn't let me do a whole lot. Instead of playing with fiber and fabric I got the domestic stuff done first but then I started to get brake thru pain and I was done. Maybe tomorrow I can keep the play date with myself. If your regular visitor here you may have noticed I deleted and changed some of my postings. I did it on my live journal too. Why? It all goes back to the laws of attraction. I don't want to attract anymore "crazy" into my life. At least not until I'm getting paid to deal with it. The LJ is where I'm going to post about my creativity with paper & paint. This is where I should be posting about my creativity with fiber & yarn. The journaling to blow off steam or bitch is best done in the journal I keep hidden under my mattress. It's just a waste of my time and yours to post here about anything negative. I'm really a very happy person and I want share happy stuff. The rest is not worth the effort. I'm ready to let go all the bad stuff I've been hanging on to for so long go. I even started it today by throwing away a bunch of crap that was cluttering up my house. So today I'm happy even though I didn't have a chance to play because I have a nice clean house that I'm not ashamed to have my friends and family visit.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

I'm in the home streach

My research project is coming to an end. All of the data is in and and I just have to spend some time to finishing up the statistical analysis. My lit review is finally coming together. For me this is the hardest part of writing up the report. The rough draft is due tomorrow but I have all day to work on refining what I've written so far. I meet with my instructor this afternoon and then I'm meeting with my research partner to go over the stats and write our discussion. The finished version is due next Monday and then all I have to do is study for the final exam for the class.

I have to admit that I was stressing myself out again yesterday while working on the paper. But whenever I had intrusive thoughts like "I just want to quit" or "who am I kidding to think I can do this" or "maybe I should just quit school all together instead of putting myself thru this over and over again" I just kept countering the negative thoughts with positive arguments like "Erica is counting on me to see this thru, if I can't do it for myself I can do it for her" and "I can do this because I've worked thru this before" and "I'm going to make a great therapist when I finish grad school". I just kept at it and took breaks when I needed to. I definitely need to get some advice from Max on how to handle my procrastination habits. I'm getting better but I can still use some help in that area.

My plan for the day is to run some domestic errands, then go to school to work for the day, then be at Erica's by around 7:30 to work with her on the report. I'm planing on a break for some lunch/dinner (don't know what time I'll work this in exactly) to nosh and to go outside to sit in the sunshine while getting a sock started with the yarn Alicia gave me as my treat for all the hard work. If I get stressed today with the writing I'll just fondle my sock yarn.

My plan for tomorrow is going to class, handing in my rough draft and then coming home to get started on the book challenge from Modergypsy. The book I'm going to work thru is either going to be The New Creative Artist, or Collage with Color. I want to get some spinning done. I also want to re-photograph the yarn I have up on Esty. I think that may be one of the reasons for it not selling. The pictures may look a bit dark so folks can't see what the yarn really looks like. If I get some spinning done I'll post it here for some actual creative content.

Thursday and Friday I will work on finishing up the chapters I need to read for my final and wait for Dr.S. to give me back my draft so I can work on the finished paper over the weekend while taking nosh/knitting breaks. What my weekend is going to look like will all depend on how much work I need to do on the making edits for the final version of my paper. This takes me thru the rest of my week and it all looks very do-able. I don't need to think any further than the next thing on the to do list see me thru.

O.K. now to get off my butt and stop distracting myself with my journaling. It's important for me to do this but I can tell now that I'm just procrastinating.


My number crunching is done and we got......bubkiss, nada, not only did we not get the result we wanted but our results show an increase in negative factors of mood instead of positive factors. My grade in no way will be effected by the results it's just so frustrating to do all this work only to be told that "If you had had more participants you might have had better results". Don't get me started on the whole review process that put us so far behind which contributed to our small N. AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! Let me just say that I hate doing research.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Yesterday I spent a lovely day watching my husband teach fenching drills to some cadets while spinning out side in the sunshine. I was at the home of a friend who I hadn't seen in a very long time and even though I probably should have been working on entering the data for my study I took her up on the offer to come. I was so glad I did. Got to see and play with her super cute son. I think I mentioned (somewhere, either or on my live journal) that I was going to play with a 2.5 year old. My brain must be addled from spending so many hours in Boyer Hall. He's 3 going on 4. I really should have known this, the kid was born on my birthday! One of the things I know I'm very good at is getting babies to go to sleep. I worked a nanny for years when I was in my early 20's so I got a lot of practice. I used to use my tallent on Mr. SuperCute too when he was a baby. I don't know if I still have the touch or Mr. Supercute was just tuckered out from running around being a little boy all day but when we inside to watch his Disney 3 Muskteers video I sat down he got right up on my lap and I must have turned my talent up to a high setting because we were both out like a light. I don't remember falling asleep but I swear it was the best nap I've had in 6 months. I was happy to see his mom. We spent some time chatting and she showed me some of the beautiful jewelry she has been making. She always did know how to pick beautiful jewelry so it's no surprise that she's good at making it. My to do list for today consist's of doing some house cleaning, entering the last of the data for the study and doing some of the analysis for the presentation MsDelVal (my research partner) have to do tomorrow, work on my paper for said research (rough draft is due Wednesday). I also want to work on some art if I have the time. The best part is that today is going to be just as sunny and warm as yeasterday so after the house cleaning is done, my laptop and I are going to spend the rest of day outside. I don't know if I ever mentioned this but Hubby/In-laws bought me a laptop for X-mas/Birthday and I've love love love it. I don't know what I did without it. It's a tool that has helped me to be productive in a way that working with my palm poilot just never could. And if I'm being honset with myself, it such a cool toy too. I've been wating for the warm weather to arrive so I can be in the sun (with sunscreen of course) but yet get my work done. Today I can, so I better get to get'in.

Friday, April 20, 2007

I did it again.

I let my heart rule my head. As much as I want believe what I wrote in my last post, at 2 in the morning it all seems like such a crock. Will I finally, finally get it thru my thick skull that no good deed goes unpunished? All I ever get when I try to something nice for someone is a good kick in the teeth. Well I'm done. I can't do it any more, no more nice, no letting myself being a trusting sucker, no more waiting to be thrown away like so much garbage. If I'm ever tempted to do something because I might care about helping, I'm going to reread this post so I can remind myself how much of an idiot I've been my whole life because I seem to keep forgetting that. The world can go to H*#L.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

The power of attraction or bouncing like a Tigger

I've been doing a lot of reading lately on the power of attraction or more specifically putting yourself in the frame of mind that will attract the kind of things, persons, and situations that you want in your life. What I think I've learned so far is to get the life I want I need to do the following:

If I want abundance in my life I need to just look around and appreciate what I have, not keep wishing for what I don't. If I want to land my dream job I have to work hard in school to make myself qualified to have it, then believe in myself, know that I am capable of doing it. If I want people in my life that care about me unconditionally, to help me even if I don't or can't ask for it, I need to seize the opportunity to help someone when it arises only if I have the means help and I won't make myself sick by doing it. But I have to be prepared for the fact that not only will they not thank me for it but they'll get angry with me. On the flip side of that I have to accept help when it's given, even if it's given in a way that makes me angry. I need to forgive when I can and be honest if I can't. I need to accept that I will make mistakes and that there may not be any way to "fix it" once it's done. Most of all I just need to be my own unique, wonderful, depressed, talented, irritating, funny, loving, hopeful, absent minded, forgiving, sleep deprived, cheerful, stressed, good-hearted, exasperating, capable, beautiful, emotional, inimitable, amazing, irreplaceable self and have faith that even though I may not be able to see the sun today I won't be in the dark forever.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

I have been very very busy. Not just with the Etsy shop but with weaving too. Got a new scarf off the loom on Sunday before going over to the in-laws for Easter Dinner. I used some sock yarn for the warp and my hand spun silk for the weft. Worked it up in a modified rosepath twill. Sorry no pictures yet.

I had an interview on Monday at the place I hope to be doing my internship at in the fall. I'm also hoping that it turns into some sort of paying gig. I'll should find out by Friday. Even if this just turns into a opportunity to volunteer for the summer I can still use the experience.

School has been going O.K.. We started to run the subjects for our study this week. We are researching creativity and it's effect on mood. It's effect on my mood is that the study is going to make me a bit nuts.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

I've joined the Etsy Nation

I opened my own Etsy shop today to sell my handspun yarn and handwoven items.

Get A Clew

Not there are any up just yet but I started to weave on a new scarf/sash this morning and spun up some fiber from Spritely Goods . I should have the yarn up tomorrow. Right now there are some drawing books and one knitting book up for sale. It should make Hubby happy that I'm getting rid of some books.

I wanted to do this because I have lots of fiber and so I thought why not make some money while I don't have a job doing something that I had planned on doing anyway. I really do need to to do something with my stash. So spin and possibly weave it is the answer.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

I am very loved!!!!!!

(These are pictures of both side of the same skein I just had to let you see all the colors)
And you want to know who loves me? My friend Alicia that's who. Now I don't want to brag, aw who am I kidding of course I want to brag, but she dyed the yarn herself and sent it to me!!!! I was having an O.K. kind of day but when I got home and got the mail my day just became great!! Now what socks pair of socks does this want to become? Before I knit it though I think I'm just going to sit here and fondle it for a while more. Hmmm, if Malabrigo cures eczema if I put this extra special yarn under my pillow maybe I won't have nightmares tonite.

Where I'm at today

It's been almost a week since I resigned from my job and while I'm still having trouble sleeping through the nite, I haven't let myself stay in bed all day. I've gotten spinning done (sorry no pictures, maybe later today). I finally got my loom back to the way it should be set up. Had to move the warp and cloth beams to have the loom be more mobile for the thread project and never moved them back. I also have a project that I'm going to start warping as soon as I get home. I'm at school right now because we're getting 25 new rats in for an experiment and I need to be here to get them settled. I scraped the introduction of my research paper and started all over again because I just couldn't get into writing with the way I started it. I'm happy with the new approach and all I need to do now is read some new studies and outline them for this new opening. There has still been a serious lack of knitting but I think I'm going to work on that tonight while I listen to my text book. I have it as book on CD from SFB&D. I should have the print version of the book in front of me while I listen but I'm going knit instead and hopefully get somewhat head for once on the reading. All in all this has been a productive week.

The only other thing I want to get accomplished either day or tomorrow is working on a story for my blog on The Soul Food Cafe. I know I haven't mentioned this before but while I was struggling with whether or not to resign and feeling like I was in a creative rut I found The Soul Food Cafe. This is collection of blogs that make up a world called Lemuria. The Cafe started out as a creativity resource and/or focal point for writers but it has grown to include visual artists who work in a variety of mediums. I've created a persona called Chesten (like I need another alias) and she's come to live in the manor house called Riversleigh. I've never been very comfortable with writing but I find with the structure of The Soul Food Cafe I'm inspired to write and provide drawings and other art work to go along with the story. You can find Chesten's room at to read and see what I have so far. In order to keep Chesten's residence in the manor I need post on regular basis so I have incentive to flake out on keeping up with her story. I also hope this will lead to my being more regular about posting here as well.